chubbyangel

I need to get back to exercising and eating well. I need to do it. I can do the exercise part... just gotta get the clothes on, shoes on, and go. But the eating well part? I need to do better with that. I need to go to our veggie market again. Ugh. I feel awful.

Well, I have not been going to the gym. But I did buy some good healthy foods tonight. So tonight was my last gluttonous night of Sonic (oh Sonic...) and I will start to find acceptable alternatives to chow down on when I go with my husband (cause face it... we WILL still go). They have banana and apple sides, so I may look into that and getting their chicken popcorn things.

Anyways, Good healthy foods for the rest of the week. Try to make good choices in food... and the exercise will fall in line later. Just gotta make these little changes again and get back on track. :) And I will do it! In fact...

I challenge myself to take a picture of me exercising in some form 3x a week and will upload them to my flickr account. :)

*thumbs up* It will be done! My goal is to get to 160 pounds by Christmas/New Years!! I need some support and motivation to do this! I can't motivate myself. I mean, I *can* but it totally helps to have outside motivation.

Thanks for being great motivators for me! How have you all been doing? I am going to read and catch up with you guys this week. I hope to read motivating things!

And weigh 167.8.

My mind is blown by this.

Going to the gym later today. Am motivated.

I weighed 168 today.

Why can't I get myself lower? haha, it could be because I haven't gone to the gym yet since Sunday. I am going to go tonight though. I am really fed up with feeling so out of shape and listless.

I realized I only have about 20 more pounds to go until I am at a healthy bmi. Only 20 more pounds to gooooooo.

I can do this. I can do this. I just have to watch what I eat and exercise and I'll be there before I know it.

I can do this.

Anyone have any fun ideas/games that I can do to motivate me to make it to my goal?

5 things that I love about me!

1. I went to the gym today and I did all my workouts that I planned to do!
2. I had a healthy lunch and I didn't feel like I needed anything more.
3. I took a nap, got up, and went about my afternoon.
4. I stayed on task today during work and I got everything done!
5. I felt good about how I looked and I can't wait to get dressed again tomorrow haha!

I kept saying this as I was in the gym. The kiddos are just wiping me out, but it's a good wiping out. It's just a lot to do during the first week of school and I am just so glad to help out the teacher.

I got home, started reading my book from the library, and I fell asleep. My husband came home, gave me a kiss, sat down next to me and we both kinda dozed off. I stayed sleeping from 5 pm until 8:30. I was just soooo tired. And I knew I had to go to the gym.

And I felt my brain trying to come up with a reason why not to go.

"I played with the kids enough today"

"I can get up early tomorrow and go"

"I can bring my gym shoes and exercise with the kids while they are in gym."

"I can walk around the school during my lunch break"

"I can just go for extra long tomorrow night to the gym"

None of these excuses were good enough for me, so I got on my gym clothes and shoes and I went to the gym. The entire time I was on the elliptical, I kept saying "I'm tired.... I'm tired.... I'm tired". The whole time I was on the bike "I'm tired.... I'm tired.... I'm tired"

So then I started to tell myself "I can do this. I can make it to the end. I can do this"

During my chest presses. "I am almost there. Just 3 more. I can do this"

During the ab crunch machine thinger "Ok, I am doing this. Only 6 more to do. I can get through this"

On the walk home.

"I did it"

So the school year has started up and that means I have to re-evaluate how I am doing this. In July-August I exercised 5-6 days a week and ate healthy every day.

School is starting tomorrow where I live and I know I cannot realistically do the 5-6 sessions a week anymore or else I will completely burn out.

So I think I will walk Sammie on the days that I don't go to the gym and work out. On the days that I do go to the gym, they will be my strength training days.

On the days that I walk Sammie and feel like I have the energy to go to the gym, I will consider it and possibly go. If I don't go to the gym and still feel like I can do something, I will do a video here at home.

I am currently in the process of creating my snacks for the week. I have healthy snacks and not-so-healthy snacks. I'm thinking that my snacks for this week to take with me to the school are the following:

Broccoli
Cauliflower
Tomatoes
SunChips
Bell peppers
Carrots

Good snacks, right? I'm so excited and I can't wait to get them all prepped and ready to just grab right out of the cub board or fridge.

Ok, anyways, I'm outta here.

Oh yeah, and I went to the gym today.

*flexes*

weight: 168.2

So in asking the question "Does anyone else find it weird/interesting that most weight loss journals/blogs end up talking about... FOOD? " I got some interesting responses. Here is my take on it.

Having a journal during any kind of time in our lives whether it be weight loss, death, birth, just random instances of life can be really theraputic. I know writing out what I'm feeling, what happened that day, and how everyone reacted to it can be kind of freeing. It's one of the reaons why I have this journal. I can write about how my day went, what I did, how I felt about it, and how others around me reacted. It's nice and I love that I can get feedback here from it.

Just at random times, when I feel like I need some motivation and extra support in losing weight, I browse other people's journals. I have noticed some things about them.

They either revolve around food... or exercise.

The idea is simple: it's to keep them focused on what they're having issues with. With some people, eating right isn't the issue. It's the exercise.. so they might blog about that more often then the food. Vice versa with people who have no problems getting the exercise in, but have difficulty eating properly.

I find that people who keep track about their food can become obsessive on what it is they are eating. They can try to mask it, but it's there. Like wrapping themselves back up in the blanket of comfort that eating unhealthy foods was for them, this new blanket of comfort promises proper nutrition and low calories.

"Try this! I found this and it only has 100 calories and 15 grams of fiber!"

"This product was so great! I have to spread the info around about how great it is and just to let you know, I'm GIVING IT AWAY!"

"Have you tried such and such? You really should!"

It can get tiring seeing picture after endless picture of the food these people ate. Blueberries, Kashi, pasta complete with pasta sauce, snacks, lunch, dinner, midnight snack, smoothie, breakfast. Picture after picture rolls by and I find myself getting really annoyed that they don't write anymore about the things in life that challenged them. Sometimes you'll find a little glimmer of a post that has this in there. "Today I finished my first 5k! I did it in this time. But guess what I ate before it AND after!" *facepalm*

I'd rather hear about the experience of the first 5k. The excitement and nervousness they must have felt before the race... how their friends and family came out to support them. How eating was no longer something for them to comfort themselves with but that perhaps the presence of friends and family and the love that each runner felt for the race or the idea behind the race (breast cancer awareness, a family in need, pets needing to be rescued, etc).

I'd rather hear about that then about "Look at this food I ate!"

And what really frustrates me is when the food goes from something healthy... to something not so healthy. And then days and days of pictures of food pop up with the poster going "Look at this great food we ate today!" and it is pictures of foods that lead to unhealthy eating... pastas in cream sauce, fried foods, ice cream with syrups, cake with frosting, and well... you get the idea.

It's frustrating for me to see someone hide themselves behind the facade of what they've eaten during the day and not realizing how unhealthy the food is or how far they've fallen off track.

I've fallen into the "Look at this food, I love this product!" trap before. I don't think I'll do it again. I want to share something meaningful with you guys. I may write a post or 2 about what kinds of foods I eat that are staples in my diet, but I promise. From this day forth, I won't product push or hide behind pictures of food. What you'll get is me and my experiences with friends and family during the time I've lost weight. And most pictures you'll see will be of me smiling because I have such great support and am loved. Food is no longer the substance that runs my day. :) The love from my family and friends is what keeps me going.

And if you want to read about what foods I have eaten? Check out my food journal on sparkpeople. If I've eaten it, and if it tastes good, you'll see it come back time and time again. And if it's healthy, you'll see the nutrition on there. And if you want to know if I personally enjoyed it, you can always send me a message asking "Did you enjoy this and this?". I promise I'll respond back to it.

Does anyone else find it weird/interesting that most weight loss journals/blogs end up talking about...


FOOD?

....

Thoughts? Opinions? Am I the only one who notices this?

(I'm looking at you, blogspot bloggers!!)

Today I woke up and did things normally. Went potty, fed the furbabies, made breakfast. You know, the usual morning routine for me in the summer. Except today wasn't that normal cause hubby was home sleeping in bed cause he had to work nights for the past 2 nights. I went back into bed, snuggled up with him, and fell back asleep.

I wake up about 4 hours later, get up, go potty and.... oh crud. UTI again?! (UTI = urinary tract infection)

I am one of the lucky who gets struck with a UTI at least once a year, no matter what I do to try to avoid them. I wipe the "correct" way, I avoid wearing too tight of clothing, I don't wash with a loofah or towel anymore, and I pee after exercising and "mattress dancing". The only thing I was told that could possibly contribute was swimming/taking a bath and like heck I was going to miss out on taking a bath! I guess I have to nix the baths now. :(

I usually can feel it coming on, but I had no idea that this one was coming. It was pretty severe too cause I could see blood when I went potty. So away to Urgent Care I went (cause my doctor is a decent amount of miles away and I'd have to make an appointment which would probably be scheduled for next week... and if any of you have had a UTI you know that lasting 2+ days with it is a big pain in the butt. (pun intended))

So I went to the doctor and the doctor told me that cause I could see blood when I "went" it meant that it could be serious enough to warrant a shot in the butt of some kind of antibiotic.

WHAT?!

Ugh. Last time I got a shot in the butt, I was like 5 years old! So anyways, I asked the doctor if I could exercise still while taking the cipro and whatever they shot in my behind and he said no, I'd have to wait until Monday in order for the antibiotic to disperse properly throughout my system.

Ugh. Sigh. Ugh.

No working out for me tonight or tomorrow or Sunday and I'm just about ready to freak out over it. It is going to be a big test whether or not I can contain myself but I'm just hoping that the little things will still be okay like walking Sammie...

I'm just hoping that I can get back into exercising when Monday comes around.

25 pounds since my highest weight!!!

I am listening to this song. I have never listened to Sixx:AM ever and this song is making me cry because it fits so well with my struggle with my weight and food.

http://www.playlist.com/searchbeta/tracks#accidents%20can%20happen%20sixx

Accidents Can Happen - Sixx:AM

Don't give up, it takes a while
I have seen this look before
And it's alright
You're not alone
If you don't love this anymore
I hear that you've slipped again
I'm here 'cause i know you'll need a friend

And you know that accidents can happen
And it's okay,
We all fall off the wagon sometimes
It's not your whole life
It's only one day
You haven't thrown everything away.

Take some time and learn to breathe
And remember what it means
To feel alive
And to believe
Something more than what you see
I know there's a price for this
But some things in life you must resist

And you know that accidents can happen
And it's okay,
We all fall off the wagon sometimes
It's not your whole life
It's only one day
You haven't thrown everything away.

I hear that you've slipped again
I'm here 'cause i know you'll need a friend

And you know that accidents can happen
And it's okay,
We all fall off the wagon sometimes
It's not your whole life
It's only one day
You haven't thrown everything away.

You know that accidents can happen
And it's okay,
We all fall off the wagon sometimes
It's not your whole life
It's only one day
You haven't thrown everything away.

So don't give up
It takes a while.

I apologize if this entry has a lot of typos in it. I am super tired and I'm still trying to wake up. I slept in and now my whole eating schedule is going to be messed up. I hate it when that happens, but I had a really good weekend and I have to tell you about it.

My twin sister and her husband came up to visit. It was really nice of them to come up because the summer time is THE hardest time for my hubby and I to go anywere due to money issues. Once I get more jobs coming in then we can start doing more trips and going out.

( Onward to the details and pictures! )

Ok, so I realize that it is 1 am. I've fallen into this trap of exercising at night and I feel awful about it because it keeps me wired HOURS after I am done. I tried to exercise earlier in the afternoon and it worked... but I was still WIRED the rest of the evening and went to bed around the same time.

This is troubling me and I guess I need to figure out a routine to get into that will make me fall asleep. I used to do sudoku before bed and that would make me tired and all, but it gets boring after a while.

So then I tried reading before bed and found out that once I start reading a good book, I can't stop. So I would end up staying awake through the night and that didn't solve problems.

I would take a shower/bath, hoping the warm water would calm me down and make me sleepy, but it just made me wet and it takes hours for my thick long hair to dry.

Soooo I guess I'm wondering what you guys do to make you sleepy?? Please comment below with your suggestions/routine!

5 things I love about me
1. I went to the gym and had a great work out.
2. I reached a weight goal today and I am so excited to keep going!
3, Solidified excellent plans this weekend with my sister and her hubby.
4. Cleaned house a bit today. Just a bit, but hey it's more than nothing!
5. Had a great afternoon connecting w/ the hubby.

Today I hit a goal of mine. 24 lbs are gone since I weighed in at my highest of 194 lbs. I have no clue when exactly I weighed in at 194 but I'm guessing it was sometime during my engagement. Last time I weighed 170 lbs was shortly before my other grandmother passed away in April of 2007. It has been a goal of mine to make it back here and to get back to 168 pounds and surpass that mark. I'm finally there! I have no doubt that through my grieving of losing my grandmothers in the span of a smidgeon over a year, I had gained back the weight I had tried SO HARD to lose.

I can't believe I made it back there.

My next goal is 165 pounds.

When I hit that, I am going to the spa with my twin sister. We decided that we are going to try our best to make our goals for the spa and when we do we are going together!

But before I do the spa, my goal is to make it well into the 160's. When I do, I am going to get my hair trimmed and dyed. It is just so long right now. I had wanted to donate it, but that would require me getting short hair and I don't want to get my hair short just to dye it a fabulous color and not really enjoy it, you know?

So I have a tough choice ahead of me cause I really want to do this soon!

Only 21 more pounds until I am no longer overweight!! If I loose 5 lbs per month, this will make me in a "normal" weight range in time for New Years!

1. I went to the gym!!
2. I renewed my gym membership for another year!
3. I told the personal trainer there, Joe, that I would love to work with him in September!
4. I Didn't eat too well today, but I didn't beat myself up about it when the end of the day came cause I did my best with what we got.
5. When I ate my 3 slices of pizza, I REALLY WANTED that 4th slice. And I didn't eat it because I told myself if I wasn't hungry in 30 minutes then I wouldn't eat it. And whaddya know???

Ok, more of an update will come tomorrow. For now, it's bed time. I hope everyone had a great week and I promise to catch up on your blog entries!!

1. I love that I went to the gym and got a good workout in
2. I love that I feel more comfortable being a teacher in a 1 on 1 environment
3. I love that I am still going strong, working out and eating well!
4. I love that I am motivated to do more around my life now that I'm taking care of me!
5. I love how much happier I am!

Ok with that said, I am starting to get a tiny bit discouraged. I have lost like 2 pounds in a month. That sucks! It's still a loss, but holy cow! I've updated sparkpeople to take into account the calories I burn a week and I eat within the range but it's not working.

So I think I need to switch up my workouts.

From now on, it is gonna be tv exercises, C25k, and some gym. We'll see if that "shocks" my body a bit.

As for food, we are super poor this week. No going to the store until Friday, which is payday! So please pardon the bad choices of food that may show up in my tracker. Truth be told, it's all I can eat until then! But no worries, I'm still going to try to stay within my ranges!

5 things I enjoyed about me today!
1. I went to the gym even though it was midnight and I felt tired
2. And I went even though I hurt my friggin nose again!
3. I ate within my range even though dinner was REALLY late!
4. I got all my water in!
5. I tried a new machine at the gym and even though I looked ridiculous (and couldn't really do it) I had FUN!

I just got back from the gym. I'm completely gross and I love it!

First things first.

5 things I love about me today!
1. I didn't wimp out of weight lifting just cause the "weight lifting machine" (or WLM for short) "hogs" were there.
2. I ate within my ranges for the most part.
3. I walked Sammie for the second day in a row! I bet she's lovin this!
4. I did well in dnd tonight and it was a fun time!
5. I think I see more definition in my arms but I'm not really sure. I'll say it's there anyways!

Ok, so today DH worked from home. I love it when he works from home, but it usually ends up with me going over in my sodium levels because of lunch. When he's home, he'll usually make a lunch (which is sooo sweet of him!). Today it was Chef Boyardee Lasagna and grilled cheese. He'll use my wheat bread when he's making the sandwiches but then puts on a slice of "nice n cheesy". For anyone keeping count of the sodium, this whole meal was a sodium BOMB. Almost 1500 mg of sodium. Can you believe that?? But he's such a sweetie and I appreciate that he made lunch for us. :)

Sodium, one of the things one has to watch out for in processed foods. I tend to hug the range of sodium. Most times I'm okay, sometimes I'm not. Today was not a good day in terms of sodium, but it's okay. I didn't do too bad and I'll just try to do better tomorrow.

Speaking of tomorrow, dude. It's FRIDAY!!! I can't believe the weekend is already here!

I'll write more tomorrow about the "weight lifting machine hogs".

Inspired by the anti-jared and by my brother-in-law, here is a list of things the girl I used to be would do.

• I used to be the girl who would eat an entire packet of saltine crackers and use ranch as a dipping sauce. (Or if no ranch was available, ketchup worked fine. So did BBQ sauce, mustard, or spaghetti sauce.)



• I used to be the girl who would go through the drive through on the way home and order a double cheeseburger. And then when I got home I'd throw away the receipt so my husband wouldn't know what I got and I'd fix regular dinner for my husband and myself.



• I used to be the girl who, on their lunch break, would go by Wendy's and order a meal... and then tack on a side of nuggets w/ BBQ sauce just cause "they sounded good".



• I used to be the girl who would go to McDonalds for breakfast and order the sausage burrito combo and then get an extra hashbrown because I liked the way they tasted.



• I used to be the girl who, while driving to visit family, would stop at a fast food place and get the largest drink along with 2 cheese burgers (or double cheeseburgers if at McDonalds) along with fries and nuggets. And then eat the healthy snacks I packed on top of it.



• I used to be the girl who, while going to visit the in-laws for lunch, would suggest to the hubby that she was hungry and maybe we could get a "snack" for the way there. A snack meaning, lets each get a sandwich. (a snack of 500+ calories)

Am I this girl still? Sure I am. But I will try to learn from my mistakes. :) Will I ever go back into the bad habits I once had? I hope to god not.